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How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If Applied in Other Instances:

  • *Man walks into a store and finds employee*

  • Man:

    Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!

  • Employee:

    Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?

  • Man:

    I never filled out an application.

  • Employee:

    Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.

  • Man:

    No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!

  • Employee:

    Well, but that doesn't-

  • Man:

    AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!

  • Employee:

    But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.

  • Man:

    OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!

  • Employee:

    Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?

  • Man:

    Well no, but what does that matter?

  • Employee:

    ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.

  • Man:

    Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.

  • Employee:

    That...doesn't make any sense.

  • Man:

    NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.

  • Employee:

  • Man:

  • Employee:

  • Man:

    Fuck you, slut.

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